How to Hack Your Brain’s Automatic Trauma Response (when Treating Sexual Anxiety or Pelvic Pain)

What causes trauma?

Many of us have experienced some kind of trauma.

Trauma can be what I call “Big T” trauma, like sexual assault, physical abuse, living through a natural disaster, or having a near-death experience. But those aren’t the only types of events that negatively impact our mental and emotional wellbeing.¹

Many people carry trauma from growing up in poverty, experiencing prejudice or racism, feeling abandoned by a parent, living in an emotionally abusive home, or having a partner that controls or degrades you. If you’re currently in a situation that creates trauma, it may be hard for you to see just how much it’s affecting you.²

You may be in shock or think that “it wasn’t that bad.” And you’re definitely not alone in that. Because our brains have lots of systems in place to protect us. Maybe you’re not ready to face and process what happened in your past… or what’s happening now. Your brain knows it would be just too overwhelming, so it does what it can to protect you.

But it’s important to reach out for help. Because the long-term effects of trauma are serious: you may experience anxiety, stress, mood swings, and trouble maintaining healthy relationships. And the effects of trauma are not just emotional. Since we hold onto trauma in our bodies, we may suffer from headaches, stomach issues, or even chronic pain.

What happens during a traumatic event?

Don’t worry if you’re not a neuroscientist. You don’t need a medical degree to understand this stuff. And learning how our brains and bodies respond to trauma is not only helpful, it’s incredibly empowering. You’ll see that what’s going on in your body is functioning as it should (but maybe a little too overprotective). It’s your brain’s way of protecting you from further harm.

It’s reassuring to understand that you’re not broken. Your body is actually doing exactly what it was designed to do – help you deal with a traumatic event. The exciting part is that once you understand what’s going on in your body, you can start the important work of healing.

Let’s get a little sciency… what happens when you’re in a dangerous situation? You get information from your senses (eyes, ears, touch, etc), and your body sends information directly to your brain stem. That’s perfect because it’s the part of your brain that best responds quickly and defensively. Your brain stem jumps into action before the higher-level thinking parts of your brain even register what’s going on.

Think about when something falls on you or comes flying at you. Your eye sees it, zips a signal to the brain stem, and your hands fly to protect your face and head. You’re able to react before you even realize what’s happening. 

Fight, flight, or freeze?

Remember that time you were walking alone and saw a shadow move? Your response was automatic as soon as your brain perceived a threat. It was probably just a rustling branch. But what if it’s not just the wind moving the brush?

Let’s say it’s actually a large animal and it’s moving closer to you. The periaqueductal gray part of your brain stem activates the sympathetic nervous system. Translation? Your flight or fight response gets turned on. So how does this make you feel? It actually affects a lot of different parts of your body. Your pupils dilate, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as well as increased blood flow to your muscles. These built-in defenses help you to either escape a dangerous situation or give you the physical strength to stand your ground and fight off a predator. 

It’s also important to note, that certain systems in your body that are not necessary for immediate survival turn off — like digestion and your sexual response system. No wonder it’s hard to get aroused if you’re stressed or experiencing pain!

Now, back to the example of the large animal… what if you’re not able to get away and it’s not safe to fight your way out of the situation? Don’t worry, your brain has a plan to keep you as safe as possible. If you’re not able to escape or fight off a threat, that same periaqueductal gray area of your brain stem activates your parasympathetic nervous system as well. Meaning… you freeze. Maybe you hold your breath without realizing it or just stare without really seeing. Have you ever been in a bad situation and just froze? I think we all have.

But later it’s so easy to second guess your reaction, even beat yourself up and obsessively think “I should have…” or “why didn’t I just…?” But freezing during a traumatic event isn’t a conscious choice. Your brain basically made a calculation and decided that was the safest thing to do. All this happens in your brain stem and nervous system. 

Understanding how your brain and body respond to threats – and why – is a huge relief. No more second-guessing your decision made in the heat of the moment. Because you didn’t “decide” anything. Your brain took the wheel and made the best possible choice to keep you safe at that moment. And it worked because here you are.

What about when things get really bad? Your brain knows you’re not able to handle what’s going on. And your brain is your number one protector, so what does it do? It basically shuts everything down. It does the opposite of when it first perceived a threat. Your heart rate and breathing slow waaay down. Instead of being all tensed up, your muscles go limp. And lastly, your body releases endorphins, a natural pain killer. You no longer feel pain or are even aware of your surroundings.³

Harnessing that power for good.

Wow, your brain and your body are amazing! Look at all they do to protect you and keep you safe. First, they work to avoid a dangerous situation. But if we cannot get away or fight off a threat, the backup plan gives us the tools to survive and make it through.

Understanding how trauma influences pelvic pain or sexual anxiety is a major factor in treating it long-term. If you keep getting stuck in your treatment without finding relief no matter how hard you try, it’s important to get a knowledgeable specialist on your team who is certified in a somatic trauma healing methods such as somatic psychotherapy, EMDR, or trauma-informed coaching by a mental health professional.

I’ve spent over a decade studying trauma and its effects on our brains and our bodies. And I promise you that healing is possible. No matter what you’ve been through and what damage has been done, it can get better. Working with a trauma-informed therapist or specialized coach can help you get to a better place. This is especially important if your relationships or sexuality are impacted as a result of trauma, or living with chronic pelvic pain and sexual anxieties. 

Your response to trauma kept you safe when you needed it. And you can absolutely harness that same power to work with you, not against you. I’ve helped many people just like you recover from trauma. You deserve to heal and I’d love to show you how. Check out my free 4 day online course to get started today.

1. Trauma and Shock ↩︎
2. Trauma Symptoms, Causes and Effects – PsychGuides.com ↩︎
3. NICABM – Psychotherapy & Psychology Online Training ↩︎